friend zone

Guys, dating, escaping the ‘Friend Zone’ and such

HI. It feels amazing to be blogging again after my break for the summer.. But alas, it’s officially fall which makes me super happy and super inspired.

So this is a topic I have been wanting to write about for quite a while but didn’t know how to put it into words until these past few days. Soooo… Guys. Here are a few tips for y’all from me (and probably many other teenage girls) on dating, escaping the friend zone and such..

1. If you like a girl, tell her. Don’t tell her friends (especially her girl friends because they might feed you false information to sabotage her…yes, sadly “girl friends” do this). Don’t tell your friends. Don’t tell random strangers. Until you tell HER. Because if you don’t tell her, she will find out.. And if she is anything like me, she’ll act like she doesn’t know and she won’t say anything to you about it (because if she IS anything like me..she’s pretty stubborn and good luck).. But she’ll be waiting for you to say something and this all just makes everything more awkward and complicated.

2. If you like a girl, tell her (Part 2). Girls like to hear it from you. If you tell her yourself, she will know you are brave and gutsy enough to just be honest. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or perfectly worded.. Just tell her. If you don’t, you might miss the opportunity and you will regret that SO much more than possibly being shut down.

3. ASK HER OUT. Okay… Dating has become a rare thing. You’re either “talking” or in a relationship. But dating is the forgotten middle child. Ask her on a date! One date does not mean you are committing to marry the girl or even be “Facebook official”. If you think you like her, ask her to dinner or a movie. See if you have things in common or easy conversation. You might realize you have nothing in common! If that happens, at least you know and can go back to being friends. If you ask her out and she says no, then that’s her loss. And if you/she can’t date, then do something with her family.. Or invite her to dinner with yours.. She’ll appreciate you having the courage to ask.

4. Don’t complain about being lonely and do nothing about it. I know far too many guys that post things like “Forever alone” or “Why am I always single…is there something wrong with me?”….. Yes. There is something wrong with you. You’re a great, likable guy but you spend your time complaining about being single instead of putting your big boy pants on and taking a girl out. If you’re waiting for the perfect girl, I’m sorry but she doesn’t exist. Even the coolest, most popular, prettiest girl has her share of imperfections.. Love isn’t about finding someone perfect.. It’s about finding someone perfect for you. But you aren’t going to find your perfect match if you spend more time complaining about being single than actually trying to be unsingle… (That’s a word, right?)

5. The “friend zone” isn’t always a permanent place of residence. Picture this: You’ve been best friends with Suzy since you were in third grade. You were there when she fell off her bike and scraped her knee on the concrete. You were there the first time she ever wore mascara. You comforted her during her first breakup when she was still an awkward freshman in high school with braces and overalls. Suddenly… Suzy drives a car instead of her pink bike. Suzy wears mascara and eye shadow and lipstick. Suzy got her braces off and ditched the overalls for a sundress. Suzy isn’t a kid anymore and neither are you…but she’s still your best friend. But one day you look at Suzy and realize you don’t want to be her best friend.. You LIKE like Suzy.. (Two “like”s for affect.) This may seem strange to have these new feelings for a girl you’ve known forever…. BUT IT IS OKAY. Just because you are Suzy’s best friend doesn’t mean you are stuck in the “friend zone” forever! Slowly start revealing to Suzy how you feel.. And then take her to see a chick flick she’s been dying to see. If that goes well, tell her how you are feeling. If you just show her how you feel without panicking and running from your feelings, there’s a good chance Suzy will feel the same way.. Oooor she’ll think you’re a weirdo and just want to be friends so she can talk to you about some other guy she’s dating and you have to watch them hold hands while you third-wheel at a movie and your whole life turns into the song “Jessie’s Girl”… But that’s only a slight and probably rare possibility….. But if you don’t take a risk and step one foot out of the friend zone, you might be stuck there forever.

6. Do NOT (I repeat) DO NOT flirt with other girls to make her jealous. This is super common. Guy likes girl but girl doesn’t know guy likes girl because guy flirts with all girl’s friends to make guy seem more wanted and appealing to girl. This DOES NOT usually end well. Girls do not find this attractive or see it as you trying to get them.. This usually just deters the girl you like from liking you because you seem like a total player and completely uninterested in her.. It just makes a mess… TRUST ME.

I’m old fashioned. I prefer hand-written letters over text messages. I have never been the kind of girl to be the first to text, call, or ask a guy out. I know it isn’t as popular these days, but I like a guy that will open the door for me or make real, sincere conversation with my father. I totally believe in women being independent…but I also believe in men being polite.

So guys, if you really like this girl… Keep it simple. Tell her. Take her out. Be creative and gentlemanly and kind. Look her father in the eyes when you meet him (dads are always impressed by that…or mine is..) and treat her like she matters to you. If she doesn’t feel the same.. Don’t hold it against her. Be her friend because you never know what the future holds..

Okay. Enough with the rant. Goodnight my dearest readers.

(It feels so good to blog again.)

OH! And before I get a bunch of comments about how I’m young and don’t need a boyfriend.. Yes. I am aware. But I would still like to get dressed up to go out every once in awhile.. And yes. My parents approve of dating at sixteen….. As long as they like the guy….

peace & love

MA

 

2 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *